18-year-old college student insists that her roommate move out of their dorm because her boyfriend doesn't like her: 'She said I’m ruining her relationship'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 9, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

One of the greatest joys of having a roommate is dealing with their boyfriend or girlfriend. It's bad enough that you have to live with someone who is functionally a stranger; it's even worse when they bring around another stranger at all hours of the day. This arrangement is manageable when you live in a house or an apartment, and you can easily leave whenever you want or hide in your room if necessary. In a college dorm, it's a whole different can of worms. If you're sharing a literal bedroom with somebody and their partner is coming over all the time, you can feel like a prisoner in your own house. You're afraid to go home in case the boyfriend/girlfriend is there, and you savor the few moments you get in peace alone because it seems like they're never not in the room. There has to be a middle ground somewhere.

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  • The college student in this story is in a bit of a quagmire. Her roommate has a boyfriend who hates her, and her roommate thinks that is her problem. She wants her to switch dorms pronto because her boyfriend is uncomfortable being around her. What a weirdo.

  • A couple of people that are sitting on a couch
    via Jayson Hinrichsen (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITA for refusing to swap dorms just because my roommate’s boyfriend doesn’t like me

    I share a dorm with another girl (18F) and at first things were fine. Then her boyfriend started coming over all the time, like literally every day.
    via u/mintymushie
  • He clearly doesn't like me. I think it's because I don't flirt with him like some of the other girls do. He's made weird comments like 'she's so uptight' and 'I bet you've never even had a boyfriend' right in front of me.
    via u/mintymushie
  • Last week my roommate told me he's uncomfortable being around me and asked if I could switch dorms so they could have more privacy. I said no. I pay rent just like she does and I shouldn't have to move just because her boyfriend doesn't like me.
    via u/mintymushie
  • A woman holding one hundred dollar bills
    via Alexander Mils

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • She said I'm ruining her relationship and now some of our mutual friends are saying I should just move because they're in love. I don't think that's fair at all. AITA?
    via u/mintymushie
  • Lilpanda21 Too bad, so sad. If roommate cares that much about boy toy's comfort, she can leave.
    via u/Lilpanda21
  • A woman sitting at a desk writing in a notebook
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • mintymushie OP honestly, that's how I feel too, if she's that worried about his comfort, maybe she should be the one packing. I'm not giving up my space just to make her boyfriend feel more at home than I do.
    via u/mintymushie
  • Forward-Tiger2950 Please find and speak to your RA. They can help you practice having a civil conversation with your roommate to resolve it among yourself. If it ends up escalating, your RA already has an idea of what is going on to possibly mediate.
    via u/Forward-Tiger2950
  • Your roommate has the problem. If anyone is moving, she should move but I'm guessing she thinks she will get a dorm room to herself. It won't happen. She will probably get a roommate like myself that barred my roommate's boyfriend from even coming to our room because he made me uncomfortable. Her boyfriend is firmly in the making you uncomfortable stage.
    via u/Forward-Tiger2950
  • HoldFastO2 Seconding the talk with the RA. Learning to resolve this kind of conflict - constructively - is an important step in reaching adulthood.
    via u/HoldFastO2
  • yodarded not sure why this has to be constructive... roommate is being confrontational and entitled, maybe boyfriend shouldn't be coming over. i don't think the roommate would find that constructive.
    via u/yodarded
  • HoldFastO2 Constructive means, dealing with an issue within the frameworks and processes for handling disagreements. Between OP and her roommate, the situation is mired in what they each want. "I want you to leave!" - "I don't want to leave!" Talking to the RA, whose job it is to handle disagreements such as this one, can open up solutions. Not to mention create a paper trail if hostilities increase.
    via u/HoldFastO2
  • Doggonana NTA-Tell her that if her boyfriend doesn't like you that's a him problem and not a you problem. If they want more privacy she can trot her a to his dormitory and make HIS roomates uncomfortable. If she doesn't like it SHE can move to another dorm.
    via u/Doggonana
  • mintymushie OP exactly! if he's the one with issue, then it's his problem to deal with not mine. And if they want privacy so badly, nothing's stopping them from hanging out in his room instead of trying to push me out of mine.
    via u/mintymushie
  • Ok_West_6711 And really, if a frequent visitor to your dorm room is making you uncomfortable in your dorm room and telling you to move, that's a real problem the school/ra needs to address. It sounds like it's becoming harassment against you and likely violates school policy. That being said their solution might be to move you! Or bar the boyfriend. Or your roommate might be found to have made a school code violation, or her boyfriend if he is a student there too. Or they might require you two t
    via u/Ok_West_6711
  • might not be quite the result you want, but I think they would definitely take some kind of action and ultimately put a stop to this because this is not ok. I do not believe your mutual friends are saying this, they would be saying she shouldn't have him in your room every day. (If you leave she will just get a new roommate assigned so she's delusional if she thinks boyfriend will be moving in if you leave.)
    via u/Ok_West_6711
  • Deep_Mood_7668 I bet you've never even had a boyfriend What a weird thing to say. Is having a boyfriend some kind of achievement? ΝΤΑ
    via u/Deep_Mood_7668
  • Substantial_Shoe_360 As she said, she's not fawning over him and his ego is hurt.
    via u/Substantial_Shoe_360
  • DavidSugarbush NTA. You don't have to move. F them. And your roommate may be violating rules by having the boyfriend over all the time
    via u/DavidSugarbush
  • Minute-Ad-4858 real talk, she want you gone just so he can play house rent-free? nah. NTA, you pay to live there, not to be disrespected in your own space. she can go move in with him if they so pressed.
    via u/Minute-Ad-4858
  • Ginger Tuxedo Tabby NTA why should you move. Her problem, her move. Stand your ground. H_I make them MORE uncomfortable. Give him the hairy eyeball every single time they get together now. Always be there, offer to tag along on dates. They'll scatter quickly
    via u/GingerTuxedoTabby
  • Orsombre Be there and look like you are studying. That gives you an edge to complain that their presence is intrusive and impacts your studies.
    via u/Orsombre
  • CharlotteLucasOP NTA, he needs to toughen up if he can't be comfy in any situation where the planets aren't orbiting him for once in his precious baby snowflake life. Why can't she move in with him if their Twue Wuv is on the line? And their love must be flimsy as f if having an indifferent roommate is enough to Ruin It...have either of them ever had a real problem in their entire lives?
    via u/CharlotteLucasOP

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boyfriend bad roommate students college students college student problems reddit story psycho roommate dorm entitled roommates college college student entitled people
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